tacodwell:

I remember when I was a fetus I used to sneak out at night while my mother was sleeping

(Fuente: cashcutie)

bpdvarric:

@ anybody trying to give me verbal instructions

(Fuente: cptsdvarric)

likeful:

i’ve never pretended to have good taste.. i know everything i like is garbage but i’m having a hell of a time!

kingdomheartsddd:

bartonbones:

“makeup actually expires!!!” not if it costs more than $5 it doesnt

It expires when its empty

runfast-livefearless:

thealpacalypse:

sure i guess sex is okay but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper

I got chills just thinking about this

berrystumpytail:

Me: I’m sorry

Someone: What are you sorry for?

Me:

gayreinhardt:

im in constant pursuit of comedy. i live for jokes. if i die it better be funny

dumbassrights:

me, opening google: inmidiatly

google: immediately

me: thanks. 

polliewog:

slightmayhem:

attentiondeficitstarscream:

if you’re offline or away and i message you something (like a link to a meme or a picture or w/e) honestly just assume that i’m just leaving it there for when you get back and not expecting you to answer straight away. i don’t need you to respond with “hey, sorry, i wasn’t at the computer!” or anything. i was leaving u a gift for later.

This also applies if you’re online and just don’t want to or have the energy to deal with humans in the moment. Just because we have the ability to reply in real time does not mean we have the obligation.

(Fuente: attentiondeficitstarscream)

treacle-a:

cat-memes-only:

This is art